To Young….

Today (Tuesday) I learned that another young life has been lost… A boy who was in 10th grade at my daughter’s school took his own life. Why? According to my daughter it was probably because of bullying. What really got me was that she said everyone is bullied at some point!! My first thought was what the hell!?!? Why? Why do school not do more? Why are kids so damn mean to each other? Don’t parents teach anything anymore?

I’m at a total loss.

Since my daughter has been in high school there has been a death each year. Freshman year another kid took his life because of bullying, last year a boy just never woke up, and then the one on Monday. Three young lives cut short. Three sons lost. Three families left grieving.

My daughter is upset. She knew this boy… she walked by him every day at school and talked once in a while to him. Today she told me that he reminded her of her little cousin because he had these big brown eyes and really long, dark lashes. She too is lost.

Of course the school has counselors and what not to help the kids deal with this situation as they do all the time. But what about the kids who are getting bullied? Who is there to help them? What about the kids who are bullying others? Who is there to tell them to knock it off or help them?

There are so many thoughts running through my head. Why didn’t he say something? Maybe he did and nothing was done or not done in a timely manner. Are the kids who are bullying just teasing and goofing around like kids tend to do and those on the receiving end just more sensitive then others? Why didn’t someone stand up for him? Maybe they did… maybe it didn’t make a difference. I have no answers for the hundreds of questions I that are swimming around inside my head.

The only think that I do know for sure is that he was to young. He was to young to die… I’m sure that he was a bright kid and and a great future ahead of him. I know that he has left behind a grieving family and friends. All of who have more questions then I do… and so many of them start with why.

I now worry that my kids are being bullied. I worry that they’re bullying other kids.

So how do we stop this? Can we stop it?

We won’t know until we try.

Talk to your kids. Get them to speak up when they see someone bullying another person. Tell them it’s okay to do it too, because sometimes there is fear of retribution or being called a tattle tale. They may be saving a life… the life of a friend.

Keep an eye on your kids for the signs of them being bullied. Yes, there are signs. Be involved with your children and with the school(s) that they attend.

I think that we need to teach our kids to be more open minded and accepting of other kids who may seem different from them. We need to teach them to befriend everyone and to set an example for other kids in their social circles. We need to teach them tolerance. We need to teach them kindness and love. We need to teach them fairness and that it’s okay to be different without fear of being bullied.

As parents we need to be there because ultimately we are the ones who set an example for our kids and teach them.

Have you had to deal with bullying yet regardless if your child was the bully or the one being bullied?

Today I’m linking up with Shell for PYHO because I had to share this. Sorry for the rambling, grammer, and spelling issues… I just wrote today.

A homecoming

This week there was a homecoming in my town. The first ever of it’s sort.

One where almost everyone turned out. One where the middle school kids all walked down to the main street downtown and lined the streets with flags in hand.

It was the kind of homecoming that I hope that I never have to experience again.

Freedom Riders

We welcomed home a fallen soldier.

He was so young… barely 20 years old and had just graduated from high school a mere two years ago.

High school football star, son, friend, and soldier.

He was honored by an entire community in so many ways this past week.


He was brought into town by the Freedom Riders, military, police, and family.

I didn’t know him and as a matter of fact I had never heard of him until I saw the story on the news. He was on his first overseas tour and was killed in Afganistan when a bomb thrown over a base wall by insurgents exploded.

Another young life lost… lost to a war that seems to have gone on forever. A war some call senseless. A war that others support.


I went to watch the procession out of respect and to honor someone who was doing something that they loved. Something that afforded me the freedoms that I have today.

Watching this was one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced in my life. It was heart wrenching to think of his parents,  his family, friends, and teachers who all loved him.

It was hard because my sister is an active member of the military and so is my brother in law (her husband) and my own brother is a retired Marine. I can’t imagine this happening to my family… then again who does? We all know that it’s a possibility but never fully accept it.



At then end people gathered to watch the military carry his casket into the funeral home with his family by his side. This is not the homecoming that they had ever dreamt of. This is not how his story should have ended.


I stood off to the side as the local MP unit left and tried as best as I could to hold my composure. They were all young… I wanted to reach out and thank them for all that they have done, but the words simply would not come out. I know that it had to be difficult for them too. But a soldier must remain stoic and hold their emotions in.

I called my sister as soon as I was back in my car. I went over the entire event with her… amazed at how silent the town had become as soon as people saw the first flash of light from the police cruiser. I was impressed with how well behaved and quiet almost 1000 middle school students were as the procession came into town.

Old and young… military and civilian… all stood outside together in the fall heat waiting for the return of a fallen soldier. All stood silent with flags and hands over there hearts as tears fell from their eyes.

I told her that I could never do it. I’m simply not cut out to be in the military and didn’t know how she and her husband did it. She explained that it takes a certain kind of person and they do what they have to do. I know that it hasn’t been easy for her and that while she was overseas in Iraq if was difficult. She doesn’t talk about her time in Iraq very much… it’s something that she keeps closely guarded.

I worry that one day that procession will be for her or her husband. I worry that one day it will be someone that I know.