Day 8 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
I’m sure that I can come up with more than a few people who have done this. But the first person that came to mind is my oldest daughters dad.
I had blinders on when I was with him or I was just plain stupid because I have no other reason why I stayed with him for as long as I did. The best part though is that I finally left and moved on with my life and my daughter and I are in a much better place.
I met him at a bar (sirens should have went off here) that friends and I went to frequently for dancing and fun. He worked there as a DJ and he was cute and all that other crap that pulls you to a person. I was young & stupid so I fell for him.
As we got to know one another I learned that he had a son with his ex-girl friend and that they were in high school when they had him (more sirens…). I thought nothing of it and continued on with the relationship.
So time passed and we bought a home together and when he invited his parents over they were shocked because they thought that he and his ex had worked things out and it was her that they would find at the house (again… I must have been deaf to not hear those damn sirens). Eventually, they got used to me but I don’t think that they ever actually liked or accepted me.
He asked me to marry him and I was all shades of excited! I couldn’t wait! I had a house, a great job, a guy and that I was going to marry. He used to introduce me as his ‘wife’ (slightly possessive… maybe) when we were out. I always thought that it was weird, but let it go.
I found out that I was pregnant and had so many mixed emotions. I was happy, sad, scared, worried, and more. I didn’t know what to do or how to take care of a baby and to top if off my family was three hours away. We talked about it and I thought that everything was okay and was pretty happy about the baby.
Everything was good throughout the pregnancy. He went to every appointment with me and his parents even came around a bit and seemed to like me.
We welcomed a beautiful baby girl into our lives. She was absolutely perfect and I loved her more than life itself (still do too).
Life continued on but I didn’t end up going back to work and any time I went anywhere I got the third degree. When I went over to my friends house who lived down the road for a play date he’d get upset by it. There were times that my friend had invited me to go out with her and some other friends but he would accuse me of going out to pick up men or something like that. So I didn’t go.
Accusation continued and instead of just working at the radio station he also decided to start DJing again on the weekend at a bar. Things went downhill. He was always coming home late and when I asked him about it he’d say that he was working, helping out there at the bar. He was lying.
Lying and turning things around so they sounded good was something he was and still is good at. He tells a lie like no other and if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t think twice about believing him. To this day I don’t trust a damn word that comes out of his mouth.
He had this pager (yea, it was a LONG time ago) and I’d check it and the voice mail. There was some girl that he was talking to pretty regularly and when I questioned him about it he blew it off saying that it was some girl that came to the bar all the time (I hear something…. sirens maybe?).
This went on for a while and one day I was in his car looking for something and in the glove box was a card to him from the girl. And again he had a story for it but I knew that it was a lie. I knew that he was cheating.
In May of that year I went home to see my brother graduate from high school and see him off as he left for Marine bootcamp. At this point I should mention that I didn’t have a car that was working and that my brother came and got me. After he left for bootcamp my mom let me take the car back home.
It wasn’t long, barely a month before I went back down to my moms. I couldn’t stand being in that house anymore. I couldn’t stand being around him.
The blinders were off and the sirens were loud and clear.
He called. And called. I ignored him.
Eventually, he came down and tried to get me to come home and I refused. I wanted a better life for myself and my daughter.
I did end up going back up and getting all of our stuff and moving in with my mom. Yes, at 24 years old I moved back in with my mom.
I got a job, my dad fixed my car, and I moved into my own place. I was free.
I was wrong. He served me with child custody papers stating that I was an unfit parent and that he wanted full custody of our daughter. He lost. I won.
There’s so much more to this story that will leave you wondering how could he be that way? Why would he treat his own child that way? But for now I’ll leave it here.
I will say that his 15 year old daughter is amazing and that he has missed out on the best years of her life. She hasn’t seen him in over 2 years and we like it that way.
What about you? Has someone made your life hell, or treated you like shit?
Want to know more about 30 Days of Truth? Check out the first post here!