Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

I’ve spent some time thinking about this and wasn’t sure if there was a person in my life that I needed to let go, or someone that I wish I didn’t know. There has to be someone, right?

Well, I thought about it for a while more and it finally came to me.

When I was married to my first husband we had many friends in common, male and female. There were a couple (female) with whom I became very good friends with. We had a great friendship, talked every day, and got together at least once a week. They were there when I had my youngest two daughters, with us for holidays, birthdays, and we even all went on a vacation together.

They were two of the closest friends that I had ever had.

When my husband and I split up and divorced the friendships became strained. I will admit that part of it was my fault and I apologized for it, more than once.

They chose sides and it wasn’t mine.

I quickly learned that they weren’t as good of friends as I thought. I was devastated.

After some time had passed we started talking again, but it wasn’t the same as before. Friend #1 wasn’t sure if she could be a friend again and friend #2 wouldn’t speak with me at all. I thought that if persisted and worked at it we would rebuild a friendship.

I emailed and tried to start and maintain conversations to no avail with friend #1. She’s invited me over and I’ve gone over to hang out, but things were tense or maybe it was just me that noticed it. She hasn’t come to my home though.

Eventually friend #2 came around and started talking to me again. Whenever we see one another we talk for a while and catch up, but we’re not friends like we were. Just acquaintances. I think that if I needed something or if one of the girls did she’d try her best to help me.

I’ve know for a long time that we won’t rebuild those friendships, nor will we come close to it. There will always be distance between us and this saddens me. I hope that I will have a close friendship again like that.

I’ve come to realize that I need to let them go. The friendships are over. Done.

Want to know more about 30 Days of Truth? Check out the first post here!