This post has been swimming around in my head for a few days and I’m finally getting around to writing it. I’m not sure why it’s taken so long… I guess life and everything got in the way.

Anyway, here it goes.

When I was younger I would fight with my sister, do something wrong, irritate my mom, or whatever it is that kids do to get in trouble. My mom would yell, threaten, and eventually follow through with one of the threats. Worse yet… ground me (I hated being grounded). Chances are there were times that I actually deserved it regardless of the fact that I’m sure I was never at fault and it was always my sisters fault.

There were times though that nobody did anything wrong.

There were more times than not that I’d say to myself, ‘I will never do that when I’m a parent’ or ‘I won’t talk that way when I’m a parent’ or ‘I’ll never act like that when I have kids’.


Never say never.

As time goes by something has happened… something scary and something that I never thought would happen. I am turning into my mom and I’m finding myself doing all of those things that I always told myself that I would never do. I hate it. I hate ever single time it happens. The sad thing is that I don’t even realize that I’m doing it until after the fact and then I pause and want to literally kick myself.

I often wonder is it part of our genetic makeup that we will inevitably turn into our parents. Maybe behaviors are just part of who we are like the color of our eyes, the exact shade of brown hair that one of our parents has, or how you can tell that people are siblings. I question it all the time.

I didn’t have the best childhood and there is quite a bit that I don’t remember. Most of that time was before I moved out of my moms house and in with my dad and stepmom. I never want to act the way she did or treat my kids in a similar manner and I have gone out of my way (obviously not enough) to not be that person and to be a good mom, to give my kids everything they need/want, and to always be there.

I’ve made it a point lately to really think before I speak, to be more open, and make sure that when I do and how I act is me and not the way my mom acted. I won’t lie… it’s not easy, but I am determined to do this and not continue to turn into her.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I do love my mom and wish that she where here to be a part of my life as well as her grandkids, but sometimes life doesn’t go the way we expect it.

My kids will always be important to me, they will always know that I love them, and that I will do whatever I can to support them in what they do. I don’t want the their memories of me to be of them upset with them, yelling at them, or anything like that.

Do you ever find yourself noticing traits or actions that your parents did when you were a kid? Did you ever say that you’d never do something once you became a parent?

It’s a little late but I’m linking up with Shell for her weekly linky… Pour Your Heart Out. Stop by her place and see what others are talking about this week.


How to Prepare for Becoming a Parent

I spent some quality time cleaning up my email and happened upon this email that had been forwarded to me and as I read through it again I laughed. It was hilarious and oh so true! And before deleting it I had the genius idea of sharing it with all of you.

So if you’re already a parent you’ll laugh as you nod your head and if you’re not a parent already take notes. This is how to prepare for becoming a parent in the simplest format.

prepare to be a parent

Lesson 1

Go to the grocery store.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
Go home.
Pick up the paper.
Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about the following

  • Methods of discipline.
  • Lack of patience.
  • Appallingly low tolerance levels.
  • Allowing their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

To discover how the nights will feel…
Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
Set the alarm for 3AM.
As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.
Go to bed at 2:45AM.
Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.
Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.
Look cheerful.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out…
Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
Stick your fingers in the flower bed. Then rub them on the clean walls.
Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this – 15 minutes.

Lesson 6

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a minivan. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.
Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat.
Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
There. Perfect.

Lesson 8

Get ready to go out.
Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
Go out the front door.
Come in again.
Go out.
Come back in.
Go out again.
Walk down the front path.
Walk back up it.
Walk down it again.
Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
Retrace your steps.
Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is excellent).
If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine-month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying “mommy” repeatedly.
(Important: no more than a four second delay between each “mommy”; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).
Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt-sleeve, or elbow while playing the “mommy” tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

There you have it. 15 easy lessons on how to prepare to become a parent.

Okay…. what has been left out? Share your tips in the comments!


I could never have imagined that it would happen to me. Never in a million years. Not me. Not ever.

We decided right after getting married that we wanted to have a baby of our own, even though I already had three incredible kids and he fully accepted them as his own. We decided that we’d have one baby and that’s because I wasn’t getting any younger and we all know the older you get the more difficult pregnancy is.

It wasn’t long and we found out that we were having a baby. We were beyond elated! Everyone from our parents, the girls, and all of our friends were happy for us. We started planning for the new addition to our family and whether it’d be a boy or a girl and what we wanted to name it.

I was scared as always because I tend to be a worrier when it comes to being pregnant. I never in my life had a reason to worry either, it’s just that there are so many things out there on the internet telling you this and that. All that information can cause you to self diagnose and drive you to insanity! Besides all my pregnancies were great!

My first few doctor appointments went really well and all was normal. Perfection!

We started looking for furniture and all that since I had gotten rid of everything that I had before. We were lucky and found a brand new bassinet at a yard sale and the best part was that they only asked $25 for it.

Our appointment at 12 weeks came and I was excited because it was going to be the first time that we were going to be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. We went in and got started.

At first it took a few minutes for her to find the baby’s heartbeat. I said to my husband that it was normal to have a hard time finding it because the baby is so small and often they hide.

The nurse figured I wasn’t as far along as we all originally thought so they wanted to do an ultrasound just to be sure. They had an ultrasound machine in the office so it made things really easy for us and we simply moved to the other room.

I was slightly worried.

She came back in and started the ultrasound. We quickly found out that there was a baby there. But our baby didn’t have a heart beat and it looked like it had stopped growing around 9 weeks.

My heart sank. I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. It wasn’t true.

It couldn’t possibly be true. I was heartbroken and couldn’t stop crying.

She let us be alone for a few minutes. After a while we joined her again in her office and we talked about our options. As she explained them I made my decision and then the whole world shifted.

Day 14 ~ 30 Day of Truth

Day 14 — A hero that has let you down.

30 Days of Truth

This may be a hard one.

Dear Mom,

First I have to say that I love you and I know that you’ve done your very best to raise us. And I also know that in your own way that you love us dearly, but what at the same time I think that you’re selfish.

This may be harsh, but often the truth can be harsh and hurt.

I realize that I am an adult and all that but I want my parents in my life, in my childrens lives, and just to be there. Now maybe I’m the one that’s being selfish. But I feel that you’ve let me, my siblings, and your grandchildren down.

You’ve seen your grandson exactly one time in his entire life and that wasn’t until he was 5 months old. You never talk to your son or his children. And why? Because you’re being stubborn and the reasoning behind it is absolutely, without a doubt childish. On both of your parts really.

I call and we talk for a bit, but it seems superficial at times, and if you don’t answer I leave a message and of course you rarely return my call.

I don’t know what to do to change this or make it better, but what I can say is that it hurts me and while I can’t speak for my brother & sister, or your grandkids I think that it probably hurts them as well.

In the end it will be you who will be missing out on so much. You have incredible grandkids who won’t have those special memories of time spent with their grandma like I did.

You’ve let us down and maybe I just need to let it go and move on.

Love ~ Your Oldest Daughter