On being a parent

Well, it’s Monday again and in lieu of the Monday Menu (I couldn’t come up with something good) I decided to link up with Just.Be.Enough for a change.

It’s been a while since I wrote anything for their weekly link up but something just clicked this week… I’m not sure what it was. Oh wait, yes I do.

My sister called me Sunday evening and we talked as we normally do but then out of curiosity I asked if she had spoken with our dad in a while. I pretty much knew the answer… she hadn’t. But I wanted to hear what she had to say and if she was still upset with him, of course she was.

Each of us has a different style of parenting, a different style of discipling, and different ways of showing love to our kids. There isn’t much out there either to say that one way is wrong and another is right and we all do what works best for our families and our situation. Honestly, I think that we all make mistakes once in a while…. almost daily in my case. I know that I’m far from perfect and try to realize where I go wrong and not do it again.

My sister and I are pretty close and often a day rarely goes by that we don’t talk. In ways we are similar… scary similar and then in other ways we are so different, but that’s what makes us who we are. Raising our kids is one of the ways that we differ.

While she was home my parents got upset about the way her & her husband treated their son(s). They thought that my sister & her husband were to hard on the boys and didn’t treat them equally. My parents said something to them and caused quiet a stir that weekend… needless to say things were a little tense.

Did I agree with the way they treated the boys? No, but it’s not my place to say anything how they raise their kids. They’re not mean, they’re not abusive, or anything like that. What they are is strict and they mean business when they say something… they’re also a dual military family (20+ years in the service for them). I think that alone says something.

Did I agree with how my parents went about saying something? No, but that’s just them. Really, it could have been a lot worse…. my parents held back a lot. But they couldn’t hold it in for long and my dad finally called my sister and let her have it.

Long story short my sister is still upset and through our conversation she said something that stuck with me…. there are things that I do as a parent that she doesn’t like. She didn’t elaborate on it or even hint at what it was, but while I know we don’t agree on things it caught me off guard. What was it that I do wrong? What is it that she doesn’t like?

It’s been bugging me ever since I talked to her…. is there a lot that I’m doing wrong? Have I done everything wrong as a parent?

Am I enough?

I love my kids dearly.

I would do anything for my kids.

I try my best every single day.

I want only the best for my kids.

I listen to them.

I give them the best advice I have.

I set boundaries & have rules.

I am enough!

We’re all different as parents and we all do the very best that we can each day.

That said… I am enough and so are you.

One for every occasion

Every year without fail I would get a birthday card from all my grandparents, my parents, and my friends and every year I would put those cards in a special place and kept them safe.

Every year I would get a card for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. You name it and a card was sent from either one of my grandparents or parents. Each card was carefully selected just for me and then sent out with love. And each of those cards joined those that came before it and put in the special place where all my cards were stored.

To this day I have cards that stretch back more than 20 years and each one of them holds a special place in my heart. Once in a while I pull them out and look through them… remembering my grandma through her perfect signature on each card or the special holidays that I missed spending with my dad because my parents were divorced. Each card reminds me of how much each of them loved me and it warms my heart.

English: self made

Image via Wikipedia

I love getting something in the mail other than a the normal junk mail and of course the bills (who doesn’t?). I like that someone took the time to think of me and that they went out of their way to get a card that spoke to them.

I also love sending cards and little notes to my friends and family and hope that they get enjoyment out of them as well. I hope that it brightens their day a little bit when they open the mail box and see that envelope addressed to them, by hand. I hope that they know how special they are to me.

I know that there is a card for every occasion. Birthday, holidays, weddings, and everything in between. Without a doubt I can always find that special card I’m looking for no matter what it’s for.

A while ago Hallmark gave me along with other writers from Just Be Enough, some cards for their Get Carded Challenge. The Get Carded Challenge was part of Hallmark’s Life is a Special Occasion campaign, which encourages all of us to push the “pause” button on the blur of daily life and think about the beauty of unplanned, perfectly imperfect moments we share with those who mean the most to us.

Going through all the cards that I was sent made me smile as I read each one and planned out who I would send each of them to. I knew that my friends and family would love them… and I was right. The calls, tweets, and messages I was sent all confirmed what I already knew. I brought a smile to their faces and made their days a little more enjoyable! Mission complete.

Do you still send cards out for birthday, holidays, or any day?

**Hallmark provided cards to use with the Get Carded challenge. No compensation was received for this post.  All opinions are my own.

Size Matters…

Today is special day. Why you ask? Well because it’s the first link up for Just Be Enough! When Elena started this I quickly offered to help in whatever way I could and she took me up on my offer as well that of several other women.

We are wives. We are moms. We are employees. We are daughters. We are sisters. More than that…. We are enough.

Every MONDAY join us…
Write, Post, Link-Up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission to empower, inspire, and remind
women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!

How you have lived the Be Enough Me feeling this week?

At one time in my life I was tall, thin, and could eat anything that I desired and not one bit of it slide to my hips or butt. It was a perfect life.

And then one day I found out I was pregnant and yet it didn’t faze me until the day I gave birth and weighed in at 183 lbs. which gave me a weight gain of almost 50 lbs. Yes, that’s a hell of a lot of weight. And I thought it was no big deal and that I’d just lose it and all would well in the world again.

Little did I know that it wasn’t that easy and that while I did lose some of it that I’d quickly gain it back again with the next baby and the following two after that.

:::sigh::: So, fast forward some 15 years and 4 kids later and I’ve found I am now at weight that doesn’t make me happy. Not at all. But I’ve also realized that I’m close to 40, have a desk job, and love to cook & eat and because of that losing the weight has become more of a challenge. I don’t know what to call it other than damn hard.

Here’s the other thing. I want my girls to know that size doesn’t matter and that what matters is being healthy, taking care of yourself, and eating right. Being that perfect size 4 that you see in the magazine isn’t what the average woman looks like… Why? Because that woman has been airbrushed to perfection. I want them to know that being who you are is enough. Size doesn’t matter.

So, I’ve been trying to make better choices when it comes to meals, what I eat, and what I serve them. I need to set the example for my kids and by doing that I am showing them that they can be enough.