Monday Menu ~ The Cake Fail

Posted on March 26, 2012 by Jackie

I had high hopes and they were totally squashed.

Last week I shared the incredible Lemon Ice Box Cake with you and because it used 12 egg whites I was left with 12 egg yolks that I didn’t want to just throw away. Like any other foodie I went in search of recipes that my family would like and I was happy when I found a cake that could use all of the yolks. I was pretty surprised too! It sounded delicious…. Daffodil Chiffon Cake.

I followed the directions to the letter and the batter was beautiful. Light, fluffy, and the palest yellow color.

I baked the cake according to the directions… 1 hour in a 350 degree oven. I’m pretty sure that an hour was to long because I took the cake out about 7 minutes early and it was done. I’m thinking that I could have taken it out probably 10 or more minutes early and it would have been a lot better.

I let the cake sit upside down while it cooled and when I pulled it out of the pan disappointment set in. It was to dark in color and very crumby…. I brushed off the excess and was hoping that it’d be alright once I frosted it.

Maybe you can help me. Here are the ingredients and instructions that I have for the cake, but there has to be something that can be done to make it better.

12 egg yolks
1 1/2 c. sugar
1/2 c. boiling water
1 1/2 c. sifted cake flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. lemon flavor

Beat egg yolks until very thick and lemon colored. Add sugar in small amounts and keep beating. Add boiling water and beat 30 seconds, add sifted dry ingredients gradually, then add flavorings, beat all well (about 5 minutes). Bake in 350 degree oven for 1 hour in an ungreased 10″ or 12″ angel food pan. Cool upside down before removing.

While it was baking it smelled like scrambled eggs were cooking…. it was kind of gross. I checked the cake and it looked fine but there was a definite egg smell that I feared wasn’t going to go away once it was done.

There was one thing that did save the cake and that was the strawberry buttercream frosting that I made. It was wonderful and would have been even better if it were on a good cake.

3 sticks of softened butter

4 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar

1 tablespoon milk – I left this out because the strawberry puree was enough

1 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3 tablespoons strawberry puree (if you want the frosting seed-free, you can put the puree through a sieve before adding to frosting)

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, whip butter for 8 minutes on medium speed. The butter will become very pale & creamy.

Add remaining ingredients, except strawberry puree, and mix on low speed for 1 minute, then on medium speed for 6 minutes. Frosting will be very light, creamy, and fluffy and then add in the strawberry puree and mix until incorporated.

I will say that the cake, once frosted, look half way decent.

Of course after adding the strawberries on the top it looked even better.

So tell me what I did wrong!!

Drunk Again

Posted on March 7, 2011 by Jackie

Imagine you are meeting someone for the first time. You want to tell them about yourself.

It was well after midnight or later probably. I really didn’t know the time but what I did know was that they were home and had been drinking again.

They were arguing. I hated when this happened and it happened to often.

This night it was particularly bad and they weren’t stopping. They got louder and meaner sounding.

I tried to block it out by covering my head with a pillow, it didn’t work. It never did, nothing did.

All to soon my mom was waking us and loading us in the car. We left as they yelled at each other again. We were all scared and on the verge of tears but none of said anything. We were to afraid.

She had no idea where we were going as usual and we ended up sleeping in the car. I don’t remember much more of that night.

I blocked a lot of it out.

Time passed and again they were drunk. They were fighting as usual, but this time my mom saw what it was doing to her life and decided to get help.

My mom went to rehab and left us kids with our step dad. He didn’t see what the drinking was doing to him and our life and kept on doing it.

He was drunk. Angry. I don’t know how it started. But I know that it ended with him hitting my brother & sister and us running to the neighbors to get away from him.

I hated what my life turned into. We were stripped of our childhood.

We ended up in foster care for a while. I don’t remember much. I blocked it out.

The drinking and fighting continued on and off for many years and finally it got to me and I moved into with my dad.

I stopped blocking things out.

I vowed that I would never let do that to my children. I vowed that I’d always be there for them. I vowed that I’d never turn into an alcoholic.

This is only a glimpse of my life. A glimpse of a small portion of my childhood that I actually remember.

I should mention that all that I vowed is true. I am not an alcoholic and am not making the mistakes they did.

This is not the first thing I’d tell someone, but it is the first thing that came to mind.

The third time is a charm

Posted on February 17, 2011 by Jackie

They say that it happens to 1 in 4 pregnancies. 25% of women will miscarry.

I am one of those who make up that statistic and it is one that does not make me happy. I can think of many other statistics that I would prefer to be a part of.

When I had my first miscarriage I was given my options and they were explained to me in full detail and I decided to go fast, painless, and simple. I chose the D & C. I didn’t want to go through the actual miscarriage. I wanted to go to sleep and then wake with it all done and over with.

My decision didn’t make it any easier though and there was nothing that could be said to make things better.

I think that one of the worst things that we had to do was explain it to our girls. I mean what do you say to them, how do you explain it so they understand, and have a way to deal with it. I couldn’t be the one that was there for them because I was barely holding it together myself.

Time passed and the wound began to heal.

We decided that we wanted to try again and like before we quickly got pregnant. I was scared. I worried constantly. Because of the previous miscarriage my doctor got me in quickly and was able to schedule me for an ultrasound and bloodwork right away.

Everything with my bloodwork was great and the early ultrasound looked really good. I started to feel better about everything and started looking forward to everything.

I believe that I was around 6 weeks and had to go in again for another ultra sound and found out that I was going to miscarry again. My heart sank.

Why was this happening to me again, had I done something wrong, was it my age? There had to be something. A reason. But what.

It was different this time though because no baby was actually there. A blighted ovum. You become pregnant but a baby never actually forms and grows.

I tried to tell myself that it was alright because there wasn’t actually a baby this time. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing.

I was wrong and it wasn’t any better than the last time. It was just as bad. But worse because I decided to let it pass naturally instead of doing the surgery again. Let me tell you that this was not a good decision.

I’ll spare you the details, but it was something that I never want to do again and would not wish it on my worst enemy. It was just like going through labor.

I wanted answers at this point. I needed them because as far as I could tell there was no reason for this to be happening. I already had three healthy pregnancies. My doctor told me that there was no reason to do testing at this point and that we should try again and then if that did not work then he would send me to a specialist.

I was shocked. I wanted answers now. I didn’t want to try again only to suffer through another miscarriage.

He told me third time is a charm. I thought whatever.

He was right. I became pregnant and this time everything went perfectly and I delivered a healthy, happy baby boy.

Andrew - My little miracle 8 weeks old.

Loss

Posted on February 10, 2011 by Jackie

I could never have imagined that it would happen to me. Never in a million years. Not me. Not ever.

We decided right after getting married that we wanted to have a baby of our own, even though I already had three incredible kids and he fully accepted them as his own. We decided that we’d have one baby and that’s because I wasn’t getting any younger and we all know the older you get the more difficult pregnancy is.

It wasn’t long and we found out that we were having a baby. We were beyond elated! Everyone from our parents, the girls, and all of our friends were happy for us. We started planning for the new addition to our family and whether it’d be a boy or a girl and what we wanted to name it.

I was scared as always because I tend to be a worrier when it comes to being pregnant. I never in my life had a reason to worry either, it’s just that there are so many things out there on the internet telling you this and that. All that information can cause you to self diagnose and drive you to insanity! Besides all my pregnancies were great!

My first few doctor appointments went really well and all was normal. Perfection!

We started looking for furniture and all that since I had gotten rid of everything that I had before. We were lucky and found a brand new bassinet at a yard sale and the best part was that they only asked $25 for it.

Our appointment at 12 weeks came and I was excited because it was going to be the first time that we were going to be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. We went in and got started.

At first it took a few minutes for her to find the baby’s heartbeat. I said to my husband that it was normal to have a hard time finding it because the baby is so small and often they hide.

The nurse figured I wasn’t as far along as we all originally thought so they wanted to do an ultrasound just to be sure. They had an ultrasound machine in the office so it made things really easy for us and we simply moved to the other room.

I was slightly worried.

She came back in and started the ultrasound. We quickly found out that there was a baby there. But our baby didn’t have a heart beat and it looked like it had stopped growing around 9 weeks.

My heart sank. I couldn’t believe what she was telling me. It wasn’t true.

It couldn’t possibly be true. I was heartbroken and couldn’t stop crying.

She let us be alone for a few minutes. After a while we joined her again in her office and we talked about our options. As she explained them I made my decision and then the whole world shifted.

Day 14 ~ 30 Day of Truth

Posted on January 19, 2011 by Jackie

Day 14 — A hero that has let you down.

This may be a hard one.

Dear Mom,

First I have to say that I love you and I know that you’ve done your very best to raise us. And I also know that in your own way that you love us dearly, but what at the same time I think that you’re selfish.

This may be harsh, but often the truth can be harsh and hurt.

I realize that I am an adult and all that but I want my parents in my life, in my childrens lives, and just to be there. Now maybe I’m the one that’s being selfish. But I feel that you’ve let me, my siblings, and your grandchildren down.

You’ve seen your grandson exactly one time in his entire life and that wasn’t until he was 5 months old. You never talk to your son or his children. And why? Because you’re being stubborn and the reasoning behind it is absolutely, without a doubt childish. On both of your parts really.

I call and we talk for a bit, but it seems superficial at times, and if you don’t answer I leave a message and of course you rarely return my call.

I don’t know what to do to change this or make it better, but what I can say is that it hurts me and while I can’t speak for my brother & sister, or your grandkids I think that it probably hurts them as well.

In the end it will be you who will be missing out on so much. You have incredible grandkids who won’t have those special memories of time spent with their grandma like I did.

You’ve let us down and maybe I just need to let it go and move on.

Love ~ Your Oldest Daughter