Wordful Wednesday ~ Today

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Jackie

Today is the first day that you start daycare… you’re a big boy now and will have so much fun.

Today you will make new friends with all the other 2 year olds in your classroom and come to love your teachers.

Today you will sit at the table like a big boy and eat lunch with all of your new friends and teachers.

Today I will worry that you will be scared and unsure of your new surroundings even though we’ve visited the classroom a couple of times.

Today I will worry that you’ll cry when daddy leaves and you’ll be all alone with new people.

Today I will also worry that I am failing you because I am not home with you like I was with your sisters.

Today a new page in our lives begins.

I know that this is the right thing to do for you and that you are going to learn and grow so much from being in a structured daycare and that you will enjoy it in time.

I’ve seen the things that the other children can say and do and was surprised. I couldn’t believe that they could recognize the names of their friends on flash cards…. I couldn’t believe that some of your new friends could talk in complete sentences that I could fully understand. I know that you will be sitting in that circle with them and doing the exact same things as them in no time.

Pretty soon you’ll be rattling things off in complete sentences and telling us about your day and how much fun you had.

This first day is going to drag for me as I watch the clock tick… waiting for that magical hour when I can leave work and finally come and get you and gathe you in my arms. All day I will wonder if you’re okay but I won’t visit yet because you need to get adjusted, but I will call to check on you. I need to for my own sake really… I need to know that you’re alright and now having a meltdown.

As the days turn into weeks I know that things will get easier for the both of us. All you need to remember is that we love you so much and that you will learn a lot and have fun.

On being a mom

Posted on December 27, 2011 by Jackie

Before I was a mom there were very few things that I worried about. I was young, carefree, and was enjoying my life from one minute to the next without pondering the future too much. I wandered the mall with friends, shopped, and ate lunch where ever we wanted while evenings were spent bar hopping or at the movies. Summers at the beach and winters hitting the slopes.

As a mom my life changed considerably. Carefree wasn’t part of who I was anymore and the way I thought, acted, and who I was as a whole changed.

There were feelings that would wash over me like no other and they still do. As a mom you are full of joy, love, fear, worry, concern, happiness, and your head will spin in circles as each day passes. It’s a roller coaster ride and one that I never thought that I would be on and one that I am enjoying every minute of.

My days and nights are filled with my children, the little loves of my life.

There are times though that I find myself day dreaming of free time. Time to do whatever I want and whenever I would like to do it and I can’t imagine that I am the only mom that has ever felt that way. But I find a few stolen moments here and there to call my own where I can simple be me again. A few moments to center myself and start again as mom.

I find myself hoping that I’ve done all that I can to show my children how much I love them. I hope that I have taught them well. I hope that I’ve been a good mom. I have so many hopes & dreams for them …. as well as fears, which I think is all part of being a mom.

Being a mom can be the most challenging job out there without a doubt, but it can also be the most rewarding thing that you ever do. I promise!

There are days I wonder if I have even done anything right…. between the fighting, back talking, and the spitting toddler I find myself wondering where in the world I went wrong. I wonder if I’m cut out for this job of being mom sometimes.

Then it’s the simple things can brighten a moms day and make her heart swell with joy…. a smile from their baby, laughter from a toddler, an achievement at school, and just about everything in between. From an infant all the way through teenage years there is always something that my children can do or say that makes me smile everyday. It’s the little joys that get me through to the next day.

Without children I don’t know where I would be or what I would be doing. Honestly, it’s something that I haven’t even considered!

Is being a mom everything you thought it would be?

Lessons Learned ~ Toddlerhood

Posted on December 13, 2011 by Jackie

After becoming a parent again, this time to a boy, I’ve had to relearn a lot of things. As time has passed I think I’ve done pretty good… I mean he’s still alive and laughing so I’m doing something right. Right?

So we’ve made it to the toddler stage and more importantly the terrible two’s. This stage is appropriately named too, because I’d rather deal with my teen and almost teen any day instead of my toddler. I should also mention that little boys are very different than little girls. There is no comparison at all… night & day, oil & water, yin & yang… whatever you want to call it. Boys are a challenge put nicely.

The Toddler

Alright, so here are a few things that I’ve learned recently.

1. When you get upset and just don’t have the words to describe how you feel. Spit. Yes, spit. Get right in your sisters face and spit on her. You feel better and she just walks away from you.

2. Screaming is also good to get your point across. It’s even better if you wait until someone is really close and get close to their ear when you scream.

3. Clothes are always optional. Especially pants.

4. Socks are for your hands not your feet. Duh.

5. Food tastes a lot better when it’s dumped off of the plate and placed directly on the high chair tray.

6. Coffee tables are meant to be stood on and jumped off of.

7. Nail polish looks good all over your hand and arm. And don’t think that tightening the lid will help… any toddler can get it off. They’re ingenious creatures.

8. Peeing on the floor and then looking at your mom while you point at it and say “Mess!” is always fun.

9. Using all the baby wipes to clean everything in the house while running around saying “Mess!” is fun. Guess mom didn’t clean well enough… thanks for helping.

10. All electronic equipment belongs to the toddler. I know this because he holds the remote(s), phones, etc and says “Mine”.

There may be a few more but I don’t want to scare anyone who hasn’t hit this incredible stage especially if they have boys. Mine could just be special and I’m getting paid back for something terrible I did as a child….. Although I doubt that’s the case because I know that I was a great kid!

I think that maybe this is karma for laughing at the antics my sister’s boys have pulled. For the past couple of years it’s been really entertaining to hear her war stories of life with two little boys and now I’ve been ~~cursed~~ blessed with my own boy. I know that I’ll make it through because she is still sane and doesn’t drink excessively… yet (she thinks she deserves sainthood).

Alright, now share with me a few things I have to look forward to that I may have forgotten (or repressed those memories) in the next year or two.

Mom Fail?

Posted on October 12, 2011 by Jackie

Lately conversations with my oldest have been strained…. tense… or whatever you want to call it. But today I feel like today was a total mom fail (again).

My beautiful Cait

My oldest, Caitlin, is an incredibly smart, talented, and beautiful child. And I’m not just saying this because I am her mom… it’s proven by the grades she gets (her current GPA is a 4.50), the awards she has gotten for band & choir competitions, and through conversations with teachers. She’s well behaved, doesn’t get into trouble at home or at school and does what she’s supposed to. Almost sounds like the perfect child, right?

This is what’s bothering me. She is very focused, very driven, and wants to excel academically. That’s good. But it seems to come at the expense of everything else. And by everything I mean that she doesn’t go out with her friends ever, she doesn’t go to school events (like the homecoming dance), she doesn’t take part in all the fun things that make high school a little more enjoyable and make it more than just education.

I feel that one day she is going to look back at her time in high school and regret not having enjoyed the time she had. The time when responsibility was next to nothing, the time when you can just have fun with friends.

Then I learned something. Something that shouldn’t really shock me since it happened when I was in school. Drinking… lots and lots of underage drinking.

She told me that all kids do is go out and party and drink. They’ve come to band camp practices still drunk or hung over this summer. Really? Is this all there is to do around here? What the hell!

I’ve been trying to push her to do things with her friends but she pushes back and doesn’t do anything with them. I get the normal excuses… there’s nothing to do, what are we supposed to do, and so on.

I thought about it for a minute and there isn’t a lot to do around here where I live for teens but you can still make your own fun. Go to the movies, rent a movie, hang out at each others houses, or go to the park and play (Yes, teens can play at the park too!). All of these ideas were scoffed at.

She’ll go to the movies with her boyfriend or watch movies at his house or ours. But other than that she is at home with us.

She’s to grown up. Having fun & being silly doesn’t seem to be part of who she is anymore.

This is where the mom fail part comes in. Is this my fault? Did I push to hard for her to do well in school when she was younger? Did I not give her enough opportunity to have fun, play, and do things with friends?

The answer is I simply don’t know.

What I do know is that I feel bad for pushing her to do things with friends. I want her to know that I love her and want the best for her but also that she needs to have fun, enjoy life, enjoy school, enjoy friends, and everything that goes along with that. I want her to do well in school and life after school. But most of all I don’t want her to look back with any sort of regret. I don’t want her to miss out on anything.

Do I let it go or do I try to get her to do things with her friends? I don’t know anymore.

Cows, Tractors, and Rural Education!

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Jackie

Last Friday I took the day off from work and spent the day with my daughter on her first field trip of the year. I was a little hesitant at first because it was for rural education day and I wasn’t sure what to expect.

We went to school early that morning, got our instructions, and then boarded the school buses. I should mention here that I really do not like riding school bus! Loud, bumpy, drafty… I don’t know how I rode the bus all those years.

We made the best of the trip going through our packet and of course taking pictures of ourselves.

Funny thing… it took us like 3 or 4 tries to get this picture because of the bumpy bus ride!

The ride finally ended 20 minutes later and I found myself transported back in time to a time with old gas tractors, yarn spinning, farm animals, and a place in Michigan where there was zero, zilch, nada in cell phone signal.

We planned out all the areas we were going to check out and headed for the candle making, yarn spinning, and rope making area first. The kids learned how to make candles and how to spin wool into yarn and then how to turn that into clothing or rugs.

I’m pretty sure that anyone living in the late 1800’s had such sweet smelling candles but they kids had a lot of fun dipping them over and over again in the hot wax.

We learned what sorgum is and how it’s turned into a thick, dark syrup similar to molasses. We even bought some to make cookies with for Lauren to take to school with her one day. The sorgum is grown, harvested, and processed right there!

By far though the best part of the day for any kid that was there on Friday was being able to drive a tractor! Those kids thought that it was the best thing ever and did everything that they could to be able to do it again!

Overall it was a pretty good day!

I was really surprised how much Lauren liked using the old fashioned washing machine…. I’m pretty sure that if she had to spend the day washing all the laundry that we, as a family of 6, produces in a week she wouldn’t like it much at all and she’d stop after the first couple of pieces!

Between listening to the heart beat of the cow, sheep sheering, tractor driving, and a good old fashioned hot dog lunch the kids (and I) had a pretty full day!

And of course only in Mid-Michigan will you have a rural education day field trip.

Am I wrong? Do you have rural education day?

I’m to busy….Yes, I’m complaining about it too!

Posted on May 2, 2011 by Jackie

Today all I am going to do is complain about how incredibly busy I am this week, so much so that I am not sure how I am going to get it all done without going absolutely off the deep end.

I know…I know you’re busy too. Aren’t all moms after all?

So let’s run through my schedule this week.

Daily – drop Caitlin off at the high school and then take Natalie to the middle school and then I’m off to work from about 7:30 – 4. After I leave work I pick Andrew up from the babysitter and then get the girls from their grandma’s (she lives close to their 3 schools so they can walk over there after).

Monday – soccer practice for Caitlin that she has to miss (she’s mad at me for making her miss it, but yay one less thing!). All three girls have a dentist appointment and then we possibly have to make a trip to Marshall’s Music (45 min away) to drop off Caitlin’s saxophone to be repaired.

Tuesday – Caitlin has a soccer game at 5pm and Natalie has a band concert at 7:30

Wednesday – Caitlin has soccer practice after school until 5:30 and then Lauren has softball practice at 7:30

Thursday – Caitlin has a soccer game at 5pm

Friday – NOTHING….. this is obviously subject to change and we all know that something will come up.

One of those days I will have to make a trip back to Lansing to get the saxophone so Caitlin has it for her tests this week. Yes, they have tests in band and this week is audition week to get into band for the next three years. Yea, audition as in if you don’t get a good score you’re out and don’t play for the 10^th – 12^th grade years of high school…band is pretty damn important around here.

Oh, and we (as in the husband and I , but it’ll end up being me) has to take Andrew to get his blood drawn for an allergy test. That should be great fun (insert large amounts of sarcasm here) and I’m looking forward to it.

The kids like to eat sometimes and get cranky when I don’t feed them so I still have to make dinner for them at some point too.

Image by ToniVC via Flickr

I’m getting close to overwhelmed… we’re usually pretty busy but this week seems to be crazy. I’ve figured out a few things that may help me when it comes to getting through weeks like this.

I need more time in the day
I need to clone myself
I need to not work or only work part time
I need wine to relax at the end of the week
I need to get my kids drivers licenses

All of these will work, right?

Dinner with my son

Posted on April 25, 2011 by Jackie

I love going out to dinner. Someone is there to bring me a nice glass of wine, warm bread from the oven, serve me my hot dinner, and then clean it all up. It’s like being a queen for an hour….or not. But I can always dream, right?

Recently we went out for just such a dinner to one of our favorite restaurants with my brother in law, his wife, and their newborn son. I was looking forward to it since we don’t get to spend a lot of time with them even though they live no more than 10 minutes from us.

Instead of the nice dinner that I was looking forward to I had the dinner from hell. We were “those people”. You know what I’m talking about the family with the toddler who can’t sit still, who can’t be quiet, and who throws everything.

I don’t know that there was enough wine in the entire establishment that could have made me feel better. My son was the epitome of naughty.

Let me start by saying that he found his out loud voice. The really loud screamy one. The one that most definitely draws all sorts of attention.

I have a better idea… let’s make a list of all the things he did to create a less than desirable dining environment.

1. Uses the loud voice
2. Put bread in his mouth, spit it on the table, and then threw it on the floor
3. Tried to climb out of the high chair
4. Succeeded in climbing out of the high chair despite the seat belt securely fastened
5. Tried to climb on to the table and take my glass of wine
6. Refused to use his silverware
7. Ate, maybe, 1/8 of his dinner.

There was one point that I stood up and was going to take my son to the car and wait there so everyone else could enjoy their dinner, but sat down and finished my food and we did the best we could to keep him from acting up again.

Our saving grace was that the restaurant was really busy and loud. This helped to muffle some of my son’s antics and not draw to much attention to our table.

When we finally left I decided that he is simply not ready to go out to dinner or maybe I’m not ready to take my 15-month-old son out to with us.

Now, I’m curious dear readers how have you handled a dinner out with a busy one-year-old little boy?

Don’t go until you’re ready

Posted on April 18, 2011 by Jackie

I have a wonderful treat for you all this week! Guest posters!!

I hate to leave the blog all alone and empty so I decided to open it up to those who have something to say besides me. I gave them a topic and let them have free reign with it.

This weeks topic is the most useful or useless piece of information you could give your kids at any age. Wide open, huh? I think it will be fun.

So this week’s first guest is Jessica from My Time as a Mom.

Jessica is the wanna-be entertaining writer of the blog My Time as Mom. When she is forced to step away from her laptop she is the official caretaker of 1 husband, 2 adorable girls, and 2 dumb dogs. She is often operating under the influence of sleep deprivation. You can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

Blog http://mytimeasmom.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/jessicatorres4

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mytimeasmom

Don’t go until your ready

Freshly graduated from high school I set out to conquer the local community college. I enrolled in
history, math, and ceramics (I think). After about 2 weeks of sleeping through class I realized that I was
wasting my time.

I had no idea what I wanted to go to school for or what I wanted to do with my life. I was only 18 years
old.

So I quit.

I upped my hours at the coffee shop I was working at.

I got a better job at a grocery store. I got promoted several times.

I had a baby.

I got an even better job working for the County.

I realized that I liked the business world and I liked to be in charge (no surprise to anyone that knows
me).

I had finally discovered what I wanted to go to school for.

I re-enrolled at a different community college and began taking classes for an A.A. in Business.

It was extremely difficult to go to school full-time, work full-time, and be a mom.

But it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I was ready to learn. I cared about my classes and
my grades again. I was getting straight As and I was happy as a student.

Almost 6 years later and I’m now 2 weeks away from my B.A. in Business Management with almost a 4.0
GPA.

If my kids listen to me when they are about to graduate from high school I will tell them don’t go to
college until you are ready.

If you don’t know what you want to do when you get out of high school then get a job, get several jobs.

Find what your passion is and what you can’t stand doing.

Don’t go to college just because society says you have to right after high school.

Go when you are ready to learn.

That’s what I would tell my kids.

Sadness and Guilt

Posted on April 12, 2011 by Jackie

I have this huge list of topics that I’ve been pondering and wanting to write about and this is not one of them. This came to me this morning as I rushed around at the ungodly hour of 7am with my kids so this is more along the lines of a stream of consciousness type post…. bear with me!

I’m giving myself 7 minutes. Yea, it’s an odd number but 5 didn’t seem long enough and 10 I think is to long.

Okay so the timer is set!

Today is the first day that the husband is gone out of town.. out state really for work. And now I am home with the kids alone. I know.. I know … many of you do it this on a daily basis and wonder why in the hell I’m complaining. Well this is why.

The older kids go to school all day and ~~enjoy~~ endure it and I go to work all day to do the exact same thing. Now that leave the youngest who you all know is just a baby, almost 15 months to be exact. And he goes to the sitters house daily. I hate it.

Now that dad is gone he has to go to the sitters even earlier so he is there almost 10 hours a day. I hate it more now.

What I hate the most…. do you see a trend here? I’m using the word hate a lot, huh? I don’t like that I have to leave him with someone else all day long. I don’t like that when I drop him off he runs to her to be picked up. I don’t like that he doesn’t seem affected by my leaving. I don’t like that when I pick him up sometimes he still goes to her.

I love my sitter. She’s great with my kids and super helpful and even more flexible.

I just wish that it was me with him all day. I wish that it was me who could teach him all the things that I was able to teach his sisters. I wish it were me that he ran to.

So I feel mom guilt that I’m not there for him and it makes me sad that I can’t be there.

What happens when he’s older? Who is going to potty train him, teach him his letters, numbers, and how to write, and all that fun preschool stuff?

Am I missing out on things? I think I am.

And because of this I am sad. I felt terrible this morning when I had to drop him off and I look forward to the time I leave work and can see him again.

Whew… done. The time went off!

With Just a Bit of Magic

Category Archives: Being a Mom