I’m looking for gypsies.

I’ve been told time and again that you can sell you children to the gypsies and that this is legal and an acceptable practice (It’s true… my mom threatened all the time to sell my sister, brother, and I. I’m sure that she have taken out an ad if the Internet was around back then).

So, gypsies. I know you’re out there. Please contact me immediately as I have a few children that you would be very interested in.

Now, let me give you a bit of information about these amazing children.

There are three of them! Three!! And I’ll sell them to you for the price of one! That is a deal that you simply can’t pass up!

They’re all girls so you can marry them off when you’re ready to recoup your initial investment and they range in age from 8 to 15.

Now, they’re smart. Smarter than you may originally think and even though they’re sisters and appear to fight CONSTANTLY they will band together when it suits them. This could be dangerous. BUT I think that in your line of work it’s something that you could use to your advantage.

They’re all pretty cute, dark hair and blue eyed! Well, except for one and she’s a blondie.

Oh… and that youngest one… she talks a lot. I mean non-stop, never ending story, all day, all night, barely takes a breath, never lets you get a word in talking. The oldest, well she’s 15 and that should say it all.

Now, I should mention that they don’t like housework, yard work, laundry, or anything like that. They do enjoy friends, Facebook, You Tube, and social activities. Is this okay?

I’m sure with a bit of work they could be taught to maybe like work things and probably do them really well. You gypsies are a sly bunch and can teach them. I’m sure of it.

Them being kids they can get under someones skin in a matter of seconds. They can say the most simple thing, but with the right tone and look it changes the entire meaning. Know what I mean? This is a useful trait for gypsies, right?

Now this offer won’t last for long! I know what a hot commodity they are! I mean I’ve barely finished this advertisement and I’ve already gotten several emails inquiring about them.

E-mail me today! You won’t be disappointed.

selling.kids.to.gypsies@mail.com

P.S.  — I may have a boy for you in a few years. Right now he’s still cute, young, and cuddly. Oh, and he doesn’t talk yet. I’ll get with you in about 5 years or so about him.

Today’s post was written as part of the Red Writing Hood. The assignment is to write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go all with a 600 word limit.