I may have said this once or twice before but I feel guilty when I leave the house to go to work. I feel terrible that I’m not there for my son like I was for his sisters when they were little. I feel really bad when he follows me to the door and cries when I leave.
There are times that I wonder if he will grow up as smart and talented as his sisters because I’m not there to teach him things, do things with him, or help him in the same way that I did with the girls. It breaks my heart.
It upsets me that he spends all day with a babysitter who has children of her own to attend to in addition to mine and that he isn’t going to get the full attention that I think he deserves. Then I wonder will she sit with him and teach him to write his name, show him what the letters of the alphabet are, or how to count. The answer is simple…. probably not. It’s not her job and she isn’t paid to be a preschool teacher. Is it what I would like… of course.
I have missed out on so many things and so many of those moments when I could have taught him something good instead of him learning to scream when he wants something.
But this I do know without a doubt. I love my son and my daughters and they know that without a doubt.
I also know that I work so they can have the things they want, need, and desire. I work to help pay the bills because I have to, not because I want to. I am working so my son and his sisters can have a better life. Shouldn’t that be enough?
So for now I am making the best of our situation and spending what time I can with my children when I’m not at work. I’m making sure that I’m there for them when they need me.
I’m taking time off of work to do their school activities.
And yes, once in a while I’ll call in sick, take a vacation day, or just take an unpaid day off so I can stay home with them.
For us and for now…. that is enough.
This post is part of the Monday Link up with Just Be Enough a site that I am so incredibly proud to be a part of. What makes this Monday link up so special this month?
We are fighting Cancer and kicking it right in the ass with the help of two incredible partners: Bellflower Books and Crickett’s Answer for Cancer. For every 20 link ups received this month, Bellflower Books will donate $75 certificate toward a 20-page memory book to a family identified by Crickett’s Answer who are fighting the good fight against Breast Cancer. Our goal is to be able to provide ten women the opportunity to receive a special book created by family and friends that will be treasured not only by the brave women fighting, but for their families as well. Having created a Bellflower book myself, I can tell you that this will be something extremely personal and cherished by those creating the book as well as the recipients.
Please help us make a difference in someone’s life by writing a post about what small moment you were proud to accomplish, that “Be Enough Me” feeling, and link it up each Monday.
Because you CAN.